Is this one of those "15 Cats Who Think Their Poo Don't Stink" that I read about at the top of theawl.com?
Negronis and suit jackets with shorts?
Jeez, fellas. You don't have to cover ALL the greatest hits on day one.
I can think of a few things I'd like him to give me.
If you grew up in NYC through high school and didn't master the ol' "puke between subway cars" trick, you either didn't have much of a life, or you had a life but went through it puking inside subway cars and everyone hated you.
@Clarence Rosario It's actually all automatically generated by the despairum ipsum machine.
Tell me more about this lunch place that only charges $13 for a salad...
Here's some advice: skip the first 2,500 words of this response and go straight to "see a therapist." You have anxiety so bad you can't succeed personally or professionally? Don't write to a long-winded advice columnist--see a damn therapist.
Also goes for people addicted to steaming episodes of "Daria" for free
Formerly the internet's #1 resource for Foxy Brown rumors and discussion of clafoutis. No idea what happened to it after that.
'I am curious, I'll admit, what kind of "artistic industry" "raises eyebrows."'
Charitable guess: tattoo artist
Uncharitable guess: sandwich artist
But seriously, lady, your parents are assholes. Whether or not you marry this dude is secondary to whether or not you let their twisted priorities and vulgar snobbery dictate your life choices in general. If I were you, I'd tell them to piss off, get engaged to this guy, and set your wedding date 18 months into the future so that you have time to calm your nerves (or not, as the cast may be).