On Oh, Did You Need a Lunchtime Cry?

Thanks for this. Don't get all weepy all that often these days.

Posted on May 1, 2010 at 5:12 pm 0

On The Making of Friskies "Adventureland": "Where Do They Go In Their Minds?"

I agree Choire. This is awesome. Moon shot kind of awesome.

Posted on May 1, 2010 at 4:56 pm 0

On Tales from Brooklyn: Short Stories About Love (Actually Sex): Part 3

I never get laid, and I think my title is "Not a young person in New York".

Posted on April 25, 2010 at 4:43 pm 0

On Mt. Everest Getting De-Corpsed

Also, lots of excrement.

Posted on April 20, 2010 at 12:19 am 0

On Hooray, We Can Now (Sort Of) Blame Springtime Allergy Attacks On Antibiotic Soap

Allergies are mostly a way to draw attention to oneself, so a biochemical answer can at best explain only a small proportion of them. Having said that, fucking pollen really harshes my mellow.

Posted on April 17, 2010 at 5:13 pm 0

On Thom Yorke Establishes His Mope-Rock Bona Fides

this is a horrible recording. Must purge...

Posted on April 17, 2010 at 5:07 pm 0

On The Margaret Mead of the North American Weirdo: Pedal Pumping Porno

Umm... you don't have any fetishes? Why start out with such an obvious lie? You're a writer. At the very least, words are one of your fetishes, and I suspect also books play a large part in your decor. Possibly eyeglasses?

Posted on April 17, 2010 at 4:56 pm 0

On Law & Order Forever

I love Law & Order. Who needs Ambien? A beer and L&O and I'm out.

Posted on April 14, 2010 at 1:07 am 0

On Because We Can't Get Enough Of Don Blankenship On TV

This is stupid Balk. Do I need to say more? It's retarded too. Who the fuck are we going to pay to make sure this shit happens? You can't just make laws and assume people will follow them. You have to enforce them, and that takes money, and then corruption follows the money, and then you just spent a shit load of money to make absolutely no difference.

Posted on April 14, 2010 at 1:00 am 0

On Chelsea's Law? Come On, Let's Just Have Town Square Executions!

You guys scare me sometimes. Most sex offenders are 19 year old boys who fucked some 15 year old girl who was totally happy until Daddy found out. We're all seriously confused about age. Tell them David.

Posted on April 14, 2010 at 12:51 am 0