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Multiphasic

Multiphasic

I'm just like all of you, only more so.

On Random Acts of Preservation

It is the most general possible signifier of change and history ... That's actually not accurate. It is very specific. It is specifically a random and, as you say, not very good flooring company. That this should stand while so many, many, many other things turn into Whole Foodses is weird, and arbitrary, and absurd, and wonderful. So I would recommend you unfollow any Instagrammers you find tedious, and otherwise have a fine little em ee unsh of a day.

(The being said, re-erecting it is pretty dweeby.)

Posted on June 20, 2014 at 2:22 pm 1

On A Mayor, Unworthy

He should Crossfit, because then he'd Crossfit, Crossfittily. It'll be Crossifttastic. Also, paleo.

Posted on June 5, 2014 at 4:32 pm 0

On The Bros Who Inherited the Earth

Well said! I laid out pretty much the same dilevian vision in my book on how to succeed as an internet entrepreneur, Hugging It.

Posted on May 29, 2014 at 1:56 pm 0

On I Write These Stupid Words: Weezer's Normcore Revolution

Except everything you praise Weezer for from music to lyrics to schlubhood was just a slightly more accessible riff on Pavement, not that I'm not stealing that line of argument from a Gerard Cosloy rant circa 1998.

Also, Sadie Doyle would like to have 9000 words with you.

Posted on May 9, 2014 at 9:04 pm 0

On This Is Catsploitation

Do you have some weird radar for medical students, or were there just a ridiculous number of them in attendance?

Posted on April 24, 2014 at 3:12 pm 0

On Small Awl Old

Imagine the inspiration were archaeologists to unearth a tarnished newsletter.

Posted on April 15, 2014 at 3:47 pm 5

On The End Of Comments

a/s/l

Posted on April 15, 2014 at 1:43 pm 0

On Mean Dead Guy App Says You Don't Write Well

44 of 44 sentences were about The Real World. Aim for a gazelle or large carnivore.

Posted on February 12, 2014 at 4:09 pm 2

On Hot New App Already Filled With Garbage

Any girls wanna smoke. 34m San Francisco.

Posted on February 5, 2014 at 1:56 pm 0

On Moby Lonely, Warm

What with the megadrought, it sounds like Alex's frozen corpse and Moby's desiccated one can have a tits-up tete-a-tete.

Posted on February 4, 2014 at 12:49 pm 0