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cherrispryte

cherrispryte

Help, I'm trapped in a cubicle.

On Sky Mall Kitty: The Best Song About Cats And Sky Mall Ever

It's been over 3 years, and I have to say, this might be my most favorite Awl post. Moreso than Negroni season. Moreso than Balk looking at that woman looking at that baby. Moreso than Jolie's recipes. Moreso than anything. Singing this song to myself while paging through Sky Mall has sometimes had to stand in for Xanax on flights, and IT WORKS. And then it is stuck in my head for a month, and that month is the greatest month I have all year.

I love you, Sky Mall Kitties.

Posted on May 17, 2013 at 5:37 pm 0

On Over 260 Pounds? Start Walking

@fattybobatty It is almost as if systemic discrimination against fat people is engrained in the very fibers of society!

Posted on May 2, 2013 at 5:57 pm 0

On Over 260 Pounds? Start Walking

If they use the same bikes they use in DC's bikesharing program (same company, so probably) - they're shittily constructed bikes.

Also, there are a fuckton of "obese" people who weigh less than 260.

Posted on May 2, 2013 at 12:15 pm 0

On When I Win The Lottery I Am Going To Save All The Manatees

Oh dammit now I gotta worry about the manatees on top of everything else? Fuck that Red Tide shit. Can't we get Jolie down there to clean up the water or something?

Posted on April 17, 2013 at 2:56 pm 0

On Pause

@saythatscool Possibly too soon, sweetheart.

Posted on April 15, 2013 at 7:22 pm 5

On Does Your Breath Reek Of Gross Fat-Person Obesityness?

Fat people only eat fast food! We are so repulsive that nobody can stand to get near us!

... am I doing this right?

Posted on March 26, 2013 at 3:21 pm 1

On You Think Your Skin's So Special

That article made me break out in hives.

Posted on March 26, 2013 at 12:14 pm 0

On Man Probably Sorry His Name Causes Confusion

WAIT. BRY RHYMES WITH CHOIRE?!

TAKING MY TOYS AND GOING HOME.

Posted on March 18, 2013 at 4:51 pm 3

On Jurassic Park Frog Monster Vomits Up Babies

Speaking of Biblical, couldn't we have gone with something less 10 Plagues-y if we're gonna resurrect something?

Posted on March 18, 2013 at 3:39 pm 0

On The Five Worst Kinds of Co-Workers

SEVEN PAGES!? THAT SELF-ABSORBED SHIT GOES ON FOR SEVEN PAGES!? Jesus woman, some of us have jobs we need to do!

Posted on March 18, 2013 at 1:28 pm 0