Help, I'm trapped in a cubicle.
It's been over 3 years, and I have to say, this might be my most favorite Awl post. Moreso than Negroni season. Moreso than Balk looking at that woman looking at that baby. Moreso than Jolie's recipes. Moreso than anything. Singing this song to myself while paging through Sky Mall has sometimes had to stand in for Xanax on flights, and IT WORKS. And then it is stuck in my head for a month, and that month is the greatest month I have all year.
I love you, Sky Mall Kitties.
@fattybobatty It is almost as if systemic discrimination against fat people is engrained in the very fibers of society!
If they use the same bikes they use in DC's bikesharing program (same company, so probably) - they're shittily constructed bikes.
Also, there are a fuckton of "obese" people who weigh less than 260.
Oh dammit now I gotta worry about the manatees on top of everything else? Fuck that Red Tide shit. Can't we get Jolie down there to clean up the water or something?
@saythatscool Possibly too soon, sweetheart.
Fat people only eat fast food! We are so repulsive that nobody can stand to get near us!
... am I doing this right?
That article made me break out in hives.
WAIT. BRY RHYMES WITH CHOIRE?!
TAKING MY TOYS AND GOING HOME.
Speaking of Biblical, couldn't we have gone with something less 10 Plagues-y if we're gonna resurrect something?
SEVEN PAGES!? THAT SELF-ABSORBED SHIT GOES ON FOR SEVEN PAGES!? Jesus woman, some of us have jobs we need to do!