I would guess yes, her self esteem was probably that low. I was in this space from about 29 to 35 and my self esteem dipped much lower that this, unfortunately.
Once while i was slumped in a fit of sobs on my therapist's couch, she told me she was 43 when she met someone who fit the bill for her and I basically said I literally couldn't stay alive that long being so lonely- that I'd surely die by then (still feel like a giant asshole for saying that). Like the LW, I'm successful, independent, accomplished, and couldn't use logic to solve this bc logic doesn't apply here. And all of it can fuck with your head hard enough to kill any self esteem you had.
Best of luck, LW. And yes - in the future, tell that guy to fuck off!
Christ Almighty this was long. That's all.
Um, I think you're doing a pretty good job by yourself of defaming your wife on the Internet by posting this crap through her fb account?
Wow. First, congratulations to Natasha for moving out of her parents' house.
Second- agree with the above comment that I expect something more from the Awl than the direct ex-trashing. I do think the topic had potential but It comes off a bit too simplistic.
What if Alan Hanson and Mary HK Choi's writings had a baby and then Amy Jean Porter drew us a story about it?
Balk and Choire, I'm counting on you to make this happen. Please and thanks
@flossy and only if you won't smell like the booze maybe, getting called out like that would suck.
This holiday boundary setting post from the hairpin a couple years ago offers up some nice strategies for when things get tense.
I agree with the part of ragazza's comment above about pushing the sleeping in the same room thing. If you can find a way to calmly but firmly express that respect on this issue needs to go both ways, maybe she can understand that the alternative is you staying in a hotel.
Good luck everybody!
@ejcsanfran What, would you'd rather have Audrey Tautou? AGEIST.
Yep, I'd watch the whole lot of 'em! Except the Kelly Rowland story, just cause I'm not much for this type of documentary.
Young Hearts legit gave me goosebumps.
@goldpen On rereading your letter, I have to say that I see it in such a different light than the first time. I agree with other commenters who have suggested you seek therapy for yourself. In the last paragraph, it sounds like what you are truly investigating is your own anxiety about your choices in men and long term relationships.
If you can find a professional who you jive well with, they will help you answer this, and in the process will likely give you effective tools to communicate with and support the person you are currently with.
I am also an adult survivor of childhood trauma, including sexual abuse, and have been doing therapeutic work for about 3 years. What others have also noted is that the therapy process can be surprising and will reconfigure your view in many, many ways. I'm saying this because if you do decide to seek therapy for yourself, know things will shift and be as open to those changes as you can. Make this about YOU not whoever you are in a relationship with. Good luck finding clarity!