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On When a Man Grabs You on the Subway and Tries to Drag You Down a Flight of Stairs

I live in Yurp in the touristy center of a tourist-plagued town, and have regular confrontations with the baggagely challenged. People, if you have to ride public transit with a mini-fridge sized bag, just behave as if everything you do is in the wrong, be overly polite, hang back and say excuse me like it was the Rosary on Good Friday. As for me, I now take the bus much more often, since big suitcases are banned on buses in my city.

Posted on September 2, 2014 at 5:49 pm 1

On Let's Drag Bears Down To Our Level!

This won't be much use unless she's got the local pizza place on speed dial.

Posted on April 17, 2014 at 2:59 pm 1

On Oysters Shucked

That's disgusting. No one should eat an oyster without horseradish and lemon.

Posted on April 17, 2014 at 2:55 pm 0

On Why Do People Do It In The Women's Room?

@BadUncle But that's only a problem if you want to sit down.

Posted on April 17, 2014 at 2:51 pm 0

On The End Of Comments

This is really nice. Like old times. We should do this more often. Every couple weeks? Thursdays are good for me. We'll talk.

Posted on April 15, 2014 at 10:50 am 2

On Kiri Te Kanawa Is 70

love her for her work in Leonard Bernstein's symphonic version of "West Side Story", where she stars with José Carreras. She not only sings like a goddess, she also stays in the background and smoothes over the skirmishes between Carreras and Bernstein. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjxWKL6jhC4

Posted on March 7, 2014 at 2:19 pm 0

On The Awl Is Looking For A New Office

@carpetblogger Carpetblogger!! Nice to see you again. Still off in Dahwhatzistan?

Posted on February 3, 2014 at 5:30 pm 0

On "Bring Back Bloomberg"! Rich Horrorshows Freak Out Over Fake Snowstorm Class War In Pinhead Rag

"She is the author of a novel, Normal Girl,[1] a memoir, Girl [Maladjusted], and The Social Climber's Handbook (published in 2011 by Random House". Molly Jong-Fast, witless fuck.

Posted on January 22, 2014 at 10:13 am 5

On Bagels, In Order

Someday someone will make a garlic onion pumpernickel bagel, and then I won't have to buy a garlic and an onion and a pumpernickel bagel and then shake the bag up and down and leave them for a couple of hours to meld. Toasted with butter. Booking plane ticket now.

Posted on October 28, 2013 at 6:03 pm 0

On I Will Not Apologize For Just Randomly Tossing Out A Bunch Of Things That Nobody Wanted To Know About Me Or Cared About Anyway

Two things. 1)The hydrophonic tomato people used to be there all winter, if you have a trust fund, and the Various Root Vegetable people as well, plus leftover Amish spackle-heavy cookies. They bear up well under heavy wind. 2) I love E.B. White and "This is New York" and all that stuff, but you just killed the whole LoveThatNYC genre with that. Love U Fow-Evaah.

Posted on October 21, 2013 at 6:04 pm 0