Wife, mom and corporate peon a little too comfortably ensconced in the Boston 'burbs.
@charlsiekate Lewis is amazing, and I found Kubler-Ross to be really helpful. However, I never realized that the 5 stages of grief are not linear until I felt 2 or 3 of them (or all of them) at once after my father passed away.
Getting a pet, if it works in TDLB's life, is a great idea. Our dogs really helped us through my dad's death, and they continue to be wonderful foci/means of support.
Oh, TDLB, I feel you so much. My dad died very suddenly from a severe allergic reaction last August, at the age of 70. Otherwise he was perfectly healthy.
His wife and close family were all completely wrecked by this event. We allowed ourselves to feel all the hard/messy things Polly lists above, and to have that be OK. 8 months later, I'm still often blindsided by grief in unlikely places, and I'm sure 80 months from now it'll be the same. I broke down in church a few weeks ago after hearing a very "Dad-like" hymn, and after the service, my friend told me she still grieves for her dad, even though he died 20 years ago.
Your grief is OK, however it manifests, however much you have. You are not "overdoing it," or doing it wrong, and anyone who tells you otherwise (including your mother, as much as she may have good intentions) is full of shit. Sending you strength and courage.
On Meet The Awl
@BoHan My Awl website! My Awl website is so smart but I'm scared about my etc.
On Meet The Awl
@pmc I'm very excited to take a personality quiz to find out which Awl founder I'm most like.
@oldflame I have three chronic health conditions, and have had to be on some sort of daily medication since I was 15. And yes, there have been side effects - one of my conditions is actually a side effect of the medication for the big heart condition. So I take a pill because I take a pill. Ugh, I know.
But each of these pills helps me stay alive and live an active and enjoyable and not-totally-bedridden life with my family. And for that, it's worth a few side effects. Maybe the drugs will be worth it for you too? But you'll never know unless you try them. If the side effects outweigh the benefits, you can stop taking them. Really.
@Lindsay Robertson Except John Denver and the Muppets, they get a pass. (And should be much higher up this list to boot.)
@geekspice The two are not necessarily mutually exclusive. As history has shown us.
Creepy and damaged, even a little bit, are incredibly overrated.
@franceschances Or, rather than looking down on them, you could realize that you both weren't a good fit, or you were in different places in your life, or both. Sometimes relationships don't work out, and it's not necessarily because one or both people is a major dingdong.
@Jane Hu No kidding. Absolutely solid gold.