At first I read Rand Paul as RuPaul and I'm not even kidding. It's going to be an excruciating next two-and-a-half years.
On Feelings Had
Wait, did Hurley die?
No taco emoji, no peace.
This really should have ended with “tell us in the comments!”
I'm going to speak up for drinking at airports. I mean, airport wasted sounds horrendous, but airport buzzed is almost a minimum necessity for coping with the indignities of air travel these days. The trick is to get to the airport bar, finish your first drink or two* quickly to establish a steady buzz, and then switch to something you can nurse to maintain things. Not enough to get sloppy, but enough so that you aren't bothered by the 45-minute delay after the 75-minute delay, or nearly getting clubbed in the head by the guy trying to cram a solid-sided carry-on bag the size of a small car into the bin above your seat, or the screaming child, or the talkative seatmate, or all the other bullshit.
No matter what I see when I wake up I want to go back to sleep immediately.
A++ link alt-text.
When I grow up I want to be tetherball bear.
It says “Get that money” at the bottom, right? That's awful and perfect and for over a million you'd hope they'd have a nicer backsplash behind the sink and stovetop.
@96498932@twitter Thank you for reminding us about the real victims here: uncredited internet commenters.